Month: May 2007

Sexy Pirate

Dear god in heaven… forget the food… I need some sex! This photo makes me feel like a crazy teenager. Where is that man of mine?

Feeding Souls and Filling Holes

I want to eat. I think I’m starving. I know it’s the emptiness I’m trying to feed… the unmet expectations… why do I do that to myself? Hoping and expecting often leads to disappointment. I can only change myself. I’m struggling and uncomfortable today. Not depressed… not miserable… it’s not a bad day. But I want to eat, and I’m trying to live with … Read More Feeding Souls and Filling Holes

Are you my Mother?

She’s gone. I came downstairs this morning to wake my mother, and found her standing there, fully dressed, with purse and keys in hand. I’m not going to dwell on my theories about that. I have mixed emotions about her visit. Of course, I was the one who begged her to come and support me during this busy month of big events for the … Read More Are you my Mother?

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

I know the reviews have not been kind to this film, but I, for one, adored it, and my 14-year-old daughter went bananas for it, clapping her hands in glee during some of the scenes. I’ve been infatuated with Depp since 21 Jump Street, and Orlando Bloom now has my attention as well. I thought the film was creative and fantastic… romantic and imaginative. … Read More Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Love Train

May and June always seem to be packed full of big events and activities, and this year is the busiest ever. I asked my mother to come and help me get through a few of the most stressful events on my calendar this year. Having her here has given me the gift of time to focus on some of the more enjoyable tasks. (More … Read More Love Train

Sugar Hit

I’m sitting here with a throbbing, sugar-induced headache (my substance of choice). My mother arrived earlier this evening. I love my mother, and we’ve always gotten along well. But I notice a huge shift in my personality, and I don’t like what’s come out of my mouth tonight. I’m too fuzzy to diagnose this new character and name it, but maybe tomorrow will bring … Read More Sugar Hit

Ahem. Me Me Me Meeeeeeeee…

May 19, 2007 Dear Reader, As I look through my previous posts, it’s painfully clear how completely egocentric my blog is. I feel bad about that, but I think it’s a necessary part of this healing process. During the past couple of years, I seem to have severed nearly all of my relationships with other people. Some people remain absent from my life, at … Read More Ahem. Me Me Me Meeeeeeeee…

In Repair

In Repair – John Mayer Too many shadows in my roomToo many hours in this midnightToo many corners in my mindSo much to do to set my heart right Oh, it’s taken so longI could be wrong, I could be readyOh, but if I take my heart’s adviceI should assume it’s still unsteadyI am in repairI am in repair Stood on the corner for … Read More In Repair

A Note from the Author

My concept is still emerging, and the temptation is to avoid posting anything until all my ideas are firm and clear. I fight Perfection every day, and I hate settling for this mess I see so far. Anyway… In the spirit of self-exploration, I thought it would be interesting to write from the different emotional states or personalities which, together, make up who I … Read More A Note from the Author

The Big Itch

May 19, 2007 Dear Diary, Well, the one bump turned into many, within hours, and I raced to the doctor to see if I had the dreaded shingles. He said no, it looks more like bites, or some contact thing from outside. He must be right, because yesterday it moved to the other side of my face as well. It made sense, after that … Read More The Big Itch

Just Keep Walking

I am neither elated nor depressed today. I’m in a good mood; I have much to do and I am doing it. The sun in shining. But I have nothing to say. It seems I write when I am angry, upset, thoughtful, or excited, but not so much when things are simply on par, yet this is the place I strive to be. I … Read More Just Keep Walking