Month: June 2007

Calm After the Storm

Today I feel more calm. Yesterday, we went to my sister’s house, and I asked her to share her memories about my dad and me. She pretty much verified my story, though she says she never actually witnessed the hitting, because she was hiding in her room. She remembers the belt and the switches and the chaos, and finally my mother did apologize, with … Read More Calm After the Storm

Family Secrets

These posts are not pretty. They are not creatively written on colorful backgrounds. They are black and white – raw – plain – honest… written from the top of my head without much editing or thought. These are the black and white photos from my life – the unedited, unretouched, tell-it-like-it-is truth of where I am in this moment. This is my life…The meeting … Read More Family Secrets

Sitting in the Car

I wrote this on paper while sitting in my car. Well, the shit just hit the fan at my mother’s. I’ve had enough, and I said so. I’m sitting here in my car, in the rain, in the parking lot of my childhood church, where I was first married, two long hours before the local meeting starts. Of course, it had to meet here, … Read More Sitting in the Car

Disappointment

Today I realized that this is my first visit since my mother’s retirement. Usually she is out of the house for most of the day, and the kids and I do our thing. I ran 3 1/2 miles this morning; around and around the tiny neighborhood I went. Instead of letting go of my anger, the more pavement I passed over, the more pissed … Read More Disappointment

The Chronicles of Indiana Continue

Let’s see… how many days have I been here now? We got in Thursday evening… Mom sent out for Taco Bell… it’s Monday night… still not one single home-cooked meal. Now, I don’t cook every single night, but I pretty much look like Martha Stewart, compared to my mother. I have a stereo-type of mothers and of going back home to family. My mental … Read More The Chronicles of Indiana Continue

Thai One On

Well, the name of the restaurant is deceiving; we all drank water and had simple lunches. Here are “the girls” minus one. From left to right – me, Pam, Angie, and Susie. Becky couldn’t make it. Two hours wasn’t nearly enough time to catch up. I’m not sure when I met the others, but I’ve known Susie since the 2nd grade. She has her … Read More Thai One On

Chronicles of Indiana

Dial-Up sucks. Well, Johnny bailed on me for Friday. He had some work thing that was taking too much of his time. I wasn’t up for enduring country music for its own sake, so I stayed home and visited with my sister’s family. It’s interesting to try to blog about this trip as it’s going along, because I think I have trouble seeing things … Read More Chronicles of Indiana

Road Trip

We hit the road early yesterday morning – 3 kids, a dog, and yours truly. It felt exhilarating to be up before the sun. Sadly, it reminded me that not a whole lot has changed since the divorce; I am used to making this trip on my own in the car. Once I even braved the PA turnpike in the winter with a young … Read More Road Trip

My Favorite Shoes in my Closet Right Now

The Care and Keeping of Me

June 19, 2007 Hello. It’s been awhile. I booked my flight to Belgium for July. I feel like a little kid. 🙂 This will be my first long vacation without the kids since Crete in 2005, and I am planning to enjoy every minute of it. As I prepare for both vacations, I have spent countless hours trying to look my best. I’m amazed … Read More The Care and Keeping of Me

Back Home Again in Indiana

This is a building on my Great Uncle Dick’s farm. My father lives in the house in the background. I haven’t been writing from my “personalities” lately, mainly because I am too impatient to sit and identify them. Or maybe it’s that I am a combination of things right now, so nothing stands out as being the primary. (If this paragraph doesn’t make sense … Read More Back Home Again in Indiana

Clean Toilets

It’s funny how the urge to write ebbs and flows like the ocean tide in its own beautiful rhythm. I am feeling very good lately. Not giddy. Just peaceful and content, in some everyday life sort-of way. The kind of even-keel mood I always thought was unattainable for me without Prozac. And it’s good. It’s all good. Today was a milestone, of sorts, for … Read More Clean Toilets