Okay, now for the PITA story…
I’m still trying to deal with my hurt feelings on this one, and I’m trying to balance “feeling my feelings” with “not playing the victim.” Not easy.
I think all I will say here is that I learned these things while staying with my friend:
- If your child is going to throw up at your best friend’s house, it’s best to make sure it’s on the vinyl floor instead of the rug.
- Never, ever, EVER let your 14-year-old toast a muffin in your friend’s toaster oven, unless you’re certain that the timer works and that said friend has a working smoke detector.
- Learn how to grow thick skin when your friend obsesses over the smoke smell in her house and makes you feel like shit for an accident that was due to her faulty equipment.
- It’s best to do the right thing and offer to replace the burned up oven (that was defective to begin with). Try not to be offended when the friend (who makes great money) accepts the money (from you, the unemployed single mother of 3).
- The next time you consider paying $100 to kennel the dog because she’s allergic and plan a big weekend trip to see your best friend, take it with a grain of salt when she intentionally gets tickets for herself and a guy she just met for a hockey game on Saturday night.
- Take it with another grain of salt when she starts worrying that he “might” want to spend the night, and starts hinting that maybe you should take your kid and get the hell out.
- And when she asks you what time you’re leaving that night, and starts counting the hours backwards, like, “Okay… 5:00… it will take you an hour to get ready… that’s 4:00…” it’s time to start thinking about heading for the door.
- When you hear her talking to another friend on the telephone and she says loudly and sarcastically, “I’ve got to go. I have a friend here visiting, and I can’t talk to anyone else while she’s here,” it’s really fine to storm upstairs, grab your shower, pack your bags, and go.
Oh, and one more thing, Miss Renee… fuck you.