I have a million feelings and thoughts running around inside of myself. I’m excited and apprehensive about the trip to Rome. I leave tomorrow afternoon.

The Belgian and I have started up communication again, and I feel confused about that.

But things seem to be heading in a positive direction in general, and I think the fact that I can see clearly with my new miracle contact lenses is no accident and is symbolic of the rest of my life coming into better focus.

After my divorce, I decided to rent a house rather than buy one. I know I need to find a place of my own, and I’ve been worrying hard about that. I live in an overpriced area, not set up for one-income families of four. My landlord has been renovating the house next door, and I knew that once he finished, my little rental might be next on his fix-her-up-and-sell list. I got a call from his real estate agent this week confirming that.

I had a strong instinct to call the agent this morning to tell him that I might be interested in the other house, but first I would need to see it to see if it might meet our needs (I didn’t think it would). I left to run errands, and upon my return, I saw my friend and neighbor, J., hanging out one of the upstairs windows and asking me if I wanted to have a “sneak peek.” J. has been helping the landlord with the work on the house.

So, I walked over, thinking, this isn’t going to work, and fighting the Universe in general as I do.

I walked in and was immediately impressed. There are 5 things on my list that I miss from my “luxury” life and would love to have in my next home:

1. a garage
2. a huge jacuzzi tub
3. a fireplace
4. a big, bright kitchen
5. a walk-in closet in the master bedroom

I also prefer open floor plans, lots of storage space, and hardwood floors.

It had it all.

Still, I fought with the Universe in my mind. The basement won’t be big enough in this split-level house to realize my dream of building a small dance studio for myself. (There had to be something wrong.)

J. said, “Come on – you have to see the basement!”

Huge. Fucking humongous.

Is this my house? It’s still a few months away from being ready. That gives me more time to find a job.

Wow. Can it really, truly be this easy?