Today was not a bad re-entry day – not at all. After I got the kids off to school, I actually accomplished a few important tasks and completely unpacked my suitcase instead of waiting until July to do it. I went grocery shopping (or as they say here, food shopping) and I picked up Mimzy from the kennel. I was really glad to see the crazy little pup. I cooked a balanced dinner and even cleaned up the kitchen mess immediately afterwards.
But, I didn’t take time to read any more of my book. Maybe I’ll catch a few more pages after I write this entry.
The basic idea of A New Earth, from my perspective, is that my collection of personalities and assorted parts of myself that I’ve been trying to explore and organize and understand can basically be broken into two groups: the ego, and the Being. Most of what I know of myself falls into the first group.
The ego includes those parts that crave attention, that want to feel superior, that tell a sad story about my poor life… the parts that think too much and that want you to like me. Ego is the parts that are insatiable and the parts that try to convince you (and myself) that I am on the good side, wearing a big white hat.
Being is, to me, “making peace with the present moment,” (as Tolle puts it) and becoming connected with the life energy inside my body.
As far as I recall, I have identified a few roles that I know I play regularly, like Mother and Princess Lisa and Bad/Fun/Sexy Lisa. Those belong in the ego category.
However, I think I might be onto something with the awareness of the Dancer and the Writer in me. (That’s probably my ego saying, “Look how smart I am to figure this out.”) When I am involved in those two activities, I do connect with some force inside of myself that brings me fully into the present moment and anchors me there, if only for a little while. Sometimes when I write, it’s from the ego, if I’m editing what I say or playing a role, but I can tell the difference when I write something authentic. It’s the same with the dancing. As a performer, I often played a role and danced for other people’s entertainment, but I also danced (and still dance) for myself, and I have written a couple of posts about that euphoric connection with my inner body, including the one called Dance Therapy.
I think my role as Mother also can fall into the Being category sometimes, if I get out of my head and allow it. I learn so much from my children. The same human beings who can turn on my most egocentric behaviors with the press of a button can also bring me to that elusive place called Peace with a kiss or an innocently uttered Truth.
Tolle suggests that we do away with all the roles and labels and practice Being. So, Dancer or not, when I am moving my body in a way that allows me to make that magical inner connection, then I am on my way.
I still have half the book to read; I can’t wait to find out what else he has to say.