I read a book many years ago (called Getting to ‘I Do’) about relationships that discussed the differences between masculine and feminine energy. The author, Pam Allen, said that in any given relationship, both must exist opposite each other. Even in a gay relationship, one person has predominantly masculine energy – the other feminine. And the roles can change based on the situation; for example, a woman who takes charge of the finances in her home while the man simply trusts her with it and doesn’t get too involved, is taking on a masculine role. Perhaps she plays the feminine role in every other domestic situation but that one. It’s all good, as long as both parties are content in their opposite energies in each task.

I’ve been thinking about that book this morning… maybe this is part of the nice-guy thing, too. When Mr. Nice Guy takes a strong feminine roll, such as crying at the airport when I leave, then I am forced into the masculine position, which, most of the time, is not very comfortable for me. When he cries, I can’t cry, too, even if I want to. I automatically pop into the manly role of feeling uncomfortable, wishing he’d stop embarrassing me, and thinking I just want to get the hell out of there, although a part of me really wants a man to miss me that much. When he sends me cute cards, I roll my eyes, even though my feminine side likes cute cards.

During my everyday life, I am the masculine energy in my household by necessity. I fix things, I take care of things, I am the provider and the rule-maker. I don’t want to be those things in a relationship, too. I am a girly girl. I like to be feminine and passive sometimes – no, most of the time I prefer it.

I’m so confused…

I’ve got that book somewhere around here – I’m going to find it and read it again.

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