On Sexual Polarity
I know I’m probably over-analyzing this, and maybe you’re all bored to death with me recently, but I have a few more things to say. After all, this blog is all about me. 🙂

Mr. Nice Guy needed to talk last night about some things that were bothering him. I tried to get out of the phone call, but I caved in the end. I think it ended sometime after 2:00 a.m.

He says he prefers total disclosure and complete openness, so I tried out my feminine/masculine theories on him and said, “when you… then I feel…” He defended himself for hours. I tried to tell him it’s not that I need or want him to be different; it’s just some observations I’ve made about my own behavior in certain situations with him, and I was trying to explain why I sometimes feel incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t get it.

I wanted to scream and say, “I’m supposed to be the girl, here! Why aren’t you in your cave?”

His argument was not that he isn’t sensitive; he knows very well that he is. However, it’s his belief that men and women should be able to be more equal, which is nice in theory. It doesn’t work for me; I want a manly man. He wants to know who says men don’t cry, and who says a woman must yield her power to a man to be feminine. I started to wonder if my belief system is really fucked up after all, and maybe his way is the ideal.

Today, I found a very cool article on this interesting subject of masculine and feminine energy. David Deida says:

Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles. All natural forces flow between two poles. The north and south poles of the earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of your electrical outlet or car battery create an electrical flow. In the same way, masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow [of] sexual polarity.

The force of attraction that flows between the two poles of masculine and feminine is the a dynamism that tends to disappear in modern relationships. If you want real passion, you need a ravisher and a ravishee; otherwise, you just have two buddies who decide to rub genitals in bed.

That makes sense to me. Ravishee – yes, that’s what I want to be. Even the word oozes sexual energy. He also says:

For some people who have what I call a more balanced sexual essence, sexual polarity doesn’t really matter. They don’t really want much passion in intimacy. They don’t want a loving tussle full of sexual inspiration and innuendo. They would rather have a civilized friendship, full of love and human sharing without the passionate ups and downs.


Give me passion, or give me death!

5 Comments on “Hey, Nice Guy, Get off my Pole!

  1. Well being a married / divorced / remarried guy I can tell you that it goes both ways. I would love to have my wife more feminine so I can take charge. We own two cellular phone stores. I also work at a different job. But life has had to make her strong and not soft. When she is home she takes charge even though I don’t like it. And I protest to no avail. The lines between each genders place have been blurred. We can’t turn off a switch that we have activated as a society. We have asked women to come and help in the workforce. So now we all pay for it. Me at home with my wife you and your life trying to find the manly man. The effect started in World War II and is moving like a tidal wave and whether or not we want it we have no choice. So don’t settle for what you’re looking for but don’t waste your time and wait to long for that perfect Marlboro man. He has ridden into the sunset.


  2. John,You bring up such an interesting point. Your story reminded me that my ex husband and I used to have conversations on this subject, and both of us thought that women’s lib sort of messed up the natural order of things.It’s true that the sexes are NOT equal. I don’t want to be treated like a man in most cases. And I’m not about to burn any bras… Our society has raised the comfortable standard of living to a point where most families simply must have two workers in order to survive. And now we are seeing the consequences of that.And I think women, in particular, are very confused about our roles. It’s so hard to flip the switch.Lisa


  3. This is why my Grandpa told me, “you treat the queens like whores and the whores like queens.”You will say that isn’t the point or relevant – but really, at the heart of it, it is.


  4. Anonymous,I tried really hard to squint my eyes and “get it” but I don’t. Can you explain, just a little?Thanks,Lisa


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: