I have my second job interview with the company in Princeton in a less than 2 hours. I’m positively terrified. I have a pain in my chest, my skin itches, and I can’t sit still. I keep looking at the clock and wondering what I should do next.

I’m typing this with wet hair, fresh from the shower, and a berry-banana power shake beside the keyboard. I’m devouring a piece of whole-grain toast, and I have my vitamins on the plate for my dessert. Typical busy-day fare. I smell like Nivea body lotion and soap. The dog is stretched out in the sun, whining about the new toy I bought him that he can’t seem to destroy. The house is silent, except for the sound of the dryer downstairs and the happy birds outside.

And my leg is bouncing up and down uncontrollably, supported by the ball of my foot. Nervous habit.

Upstairs on hangers is my interview outfit – navy this time. The first time I went, I was nervous, but I didn’t have much to lose. This time, I feel like I’ve got my foot in the door, and I could stand to lose a whole lot if I don’t wedge the rest of my body inside. I don’t want to blow it. (I say that as though I think I have any control over the outcome here.)

9:23… my shake is gone. The straw is making that awful slurping noise. My vitamins are staring at me. The anxiety is getting worse – much worse.

I guess it’s time for hair and makeup. Then the clothes. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.

My thoughts drift to my new dream house, and I realize this might be my only opportunity for awhile to get out of this rental. The kids are counting on me. None of us wants to endure another New Jersey summer with no air-conditioning.

What questions will they ask? What will come out of my mouth in reply? I’m trying to develop my own list of questions, different from my previous list. What do I need to know about this job in order to feel good about taking it, should I be lucky enough to receive an offer?

It’s time to just do it – to walk through the final preparations and get into the car.

Oh, god…

I’m such a fucking drama queen.

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