I don’t know how I’m feeling or what’s going on with me.
My thoughts are swinging wildly from extreme to opposite extreme. I want to eat healthfully, but I want to eat junk. I am obsessed with saving money for my new home, but I want to shop and spend for things to fill it. I feel independent and satisfied without a steady man in my life, but I am thinking about past loves. I’m happy to have children who are old enough to fend for themselves, but I want to have a baby. I have energy and want to start getting ready to move, but I feel lazy and want to sit on the couch. I want to accept offers for help, but I want to do it all myself.
Every moment is an internal fight.
It’s not to say that I am unhappy or depressed. That’s the weirdest part. I feel perfectly fine other than these battles of the will.