I failed my drug test.

That is, I failed to fill the sample container first thing this morning because I hadn’t had my water yet. Never in my life have I had a problem peeing on command.


They wouldn’t let me leave the building of the lab once I entered, so I sat in the waiting room for an hour watching Animal Planet while I drank water until my eyeballs were floating.

The second time around, I had no problem filling the container, but I accidently flushed afterward. You’re not supposed to flush. They turn off the water and put some blue stuff in the toilet to keep you from diluting your sample or something like that.

Good grief.

I’ve never done drugs of any sort, so all of this just seemed to be a big waste of time, but finally we had a viable sample, and I watched as the very patient and personable nurse sealed it shut for delivery.

They want me to start on the 19th if the test comes out okay, which it will, of course.

Here we go… a brand new chapter in this unwritten story.

I can’t wait.

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