I did not collapse. I did, however, cry. The builder representative looked at me a little funny, and I pulled myself together to try to pay attention while he explained all the pipes and valves and thermostats and irrigation systems and bells and whistles for which I will be responsible.
I couldn’t find anything wrong.
I have this horrible affliction where my eyes will zone in on any lines in a room which are askew. A picture hanging slightly crooked will make me nuts, even if the rest of the room is in complete disarray. No crooked lines – anywhere.
Perfectly laid tiles and flooring… perfect paint job… we found a handful of very, very minor things which we marked with blue tape for fixes, but I was extremely impressed with the delivery quality of this builder. I feel completely relieved and confident that I made a good decision.
This may have been the hardest part emotionally – my first look at the completed project. Friday is just a wrap-up and lots and lots of paperwork.
After closing, I’m going to take the kids down for our official new-home entry ceremony with our new keys. Then off they go with their father for 10 days of vacation time, while I get things ready for the move at the end of the month.
Accepting a gift from the Universe of this scale without feeling unworthy is a challenge. It’s been really interesting for me to watch myself during this process. I still try to shut off those feelings when they get too big. Too scary.
I guess I’ll just process it in little pieces, like today. I made it through the walk-through. I have my task list for what to do next. Friday, I will close. Then I will accept furniture deliveries and meet the cable guy over there, and later in the month, I will move in. One day, maybe it will really sink in that this gift is mine… for the moment.
Interestingly, I feel inspired to get a handle on my food right now. One bite at a time…