Okay, guys. I’m going to do you a huge favor and lay it on the line, here. You wanna know why women don’t respond to you? Listen up…

You may think you’re just “being honest” when you insist your match be “physically fit” and when you mention that an “average” body type shouldn’t be 20 pounds overweight… especially when you’ve got a double chin and a beer belly yourself. Fuck you. Keep those thoughts to yourself and just don’t flirt with women you aren’t attracted to.

Your photo gallery says a lot about you. If you have 8 photos, and in 7 of them you’re holding a beer in your hand, you might as well write that you’re a drunk. And I really don’t care to see pictures of your fucking motorcyle. Likewise, I don’t want to see pictures of you hanging all over your last date. C’mon… use your head!

And those shirtless photos? Is that REALLY necessary? Surprise me later, please.

I’m amazed at how many American men are looking for a “good women.” Did you go to school at ALL? For godsakes, construct complete sentences, please, and don’t use text lingo in your essay. u r an idiot!

When I see the phrase “no drama, please,” I say, “next.” Sometimes Life brings drama. Can’t deal with it? Stay the fuck away from me.

There’s a fine line between selling yourself and tooting your own horn. You don’t need to tell me you’re “very handsome” or “in great shape” or that you “look 10 years younger than your actual age.” I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much.

I’m not done venting… stay tuned.

4 Comments on “Online Dating Tips for Men: Part I

  1. During my brief stint at Match I was often complimented on my ability to string a sentence together.It always made me wonder what other guys were writing.Now it makes me wonder, after reading your post and as grammar was the thing I was most complimented on, if maybe the profile picture I used (of me surrounded my my 2500 Star Wars action figures) was a poor choice.🙂

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  2. lol… yes, Delmer, you are a good writer. Otherwise, I would never visit your blog. 🙂You never know, I guess. Maybe your Princess Leah would find that incredibly erotic.

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  3. It is generally good practice, when criticizing the grammatical errors of another person (or group of persons), to not commit a typographical error of your own in the very same paragraph. Just a wee bit of CONSTRUCTive criticism, if you get my drift… 🙂

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  4. Thank you, anon. I do appreciate it when people point out mistakes in my writing. Seriously. I hate misspellings and other blunders.Actually, I think it’s pretty funny that I had a typo in that particular paragraph (which I have now fixed.)In my meek defense, I consider a typo WAY different than messing up contractions – as in “your a beautiful woman.” And I would even forgive that, if it were a one-time thing, because sometimes I make that mistake, too, if my fingers are typing faster than my brain is thinking.But in general, I’m appalled at the level of English education in this country. I really do need to be able to respect a man, and I struggle with that if they can’t write well, even though I know that’s probably very superficial of me.Sigh… May I also point out that you split your infinitive? 🙂 Kidding, kidding… before you go pouring through the rest of my messy blog… I write how I think – not always “correctly.”Thanks for the banter.Lisa

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