My drive to and from work saved me this week.
The weather is typical for Fall… dreary, rainy, dark – which exaggerates the contrast between the grey sky and the colorful trees. Certain areas of my town, and certainly all of Princeton, is positively glowing from the radiant hues. Brilliant lemon yellow, pumpkin orange, and crimson leaves are still falling here, held down by the rain in a thick wet carpet along the side of the road.
The leaves still clinging to the trees made a neon canopy – a lit up tunnel – for me to drive through for miles along the winding streets of historic Princeton. Kinda hard to stay caught up in your troubles when you experience that.
So, anyway, I’m admitting my powerlessness once again over Mr. Narcissist/Alcoholic, or Mr. N/A, as I will refer to him from now on. Seems appropriate, and I hate the word “ex.”
One thing I CAN control is how much weight I gain because of him. Whatever it is that kicks me into serious mode about weight-loss seems to be giving me the boot now, finally, after all my whining and sad failed attempts.
At first I thought my over-eating was related to my relationship status – dating a man on another continent and longing for someone to take me to dinner once in awhile. But I changed my mind on that. I think I’m eating myself to misery because of Mr. N/A – because I hate to be powerless over another person. I really hate that.
This morning I gave my word to a friend that I would meet him at the gym today. I’m all dressed and ready to go.
Mr. N/A can continue to pull whatever shit he pulls, but I am on my way to being fit and fabulous, regardless.
I feel hopeful. That’s a wonderful start.