I hesitate to write too much about my dates, because I want to maintain a level of respect and privacy for the other person. But Local Guy remains completely anonymous, and I need to write about my feelings, so… here it goes…
We decided to go out to dinner on Saturday for our fourth date, followed by a movie. He pushed that idea, and I thought it was because he was thinking of me and didn’t want me to go to any trouble. But now I wonder…
He picked me up at my house, and of course I invited him in afterwards. It was around 11:30 – rather late for me – but I can always get a burst of energy if there is kissing involved. I lit the fire and settled in next to him on the couch, but I realized something was very wrong when I had to fight my little lap dog for his attention. I even said out loud, “If I whine, will you scratch me behind my ears?” He just laughed and didn’t get it.
He did lean over and kiss me a couple of quick times, but that was it, and by 1:00, he was yawning and said he was tired and needed to go. As he left, he acted as if we had been dating forever, and that of course we would see each other again.
My heart took a quick elevator drop from my chest to my belly button as I watched him go, and my insides welled up with that very familiar feeling of disappointment and sadness mixed with sexual frustration.
He didn’t want me. The story of my life.
I’m not saying that I was ready to have sex with him on Saturday, but I was most definitely expecting some heavy making out, and I figured I would have to use some self-control and fight him off just a little.
I texted a coworker who happened to be up, and he spent the next 2 hours consoling me and telling me there was nothing wrong with me. I cried myself to sleep, but woke up around 7:30 the next morning and called my best girlfriend. I hope she forgives me for that – it was a crisis.
After settling on the idea that I am not entirely unfortunate-looking, we determined that there were four plausible excuses for his behavior:
- He’s gay and in denial.
- He has herpes or some other STD and wants to take things slow before we get to the point of having that discussion.
- He was being a gentleman.
- He has erectile dysfunction or a very low sex drive.
My work friend added number five: maybe he’s just not that into me.
I think I’ve ruled out number three, since we did already have a decent make-out session at his house. Why go backwards from there? The other four seem like viable answers, but I continue to hear from him, so I’m slowly ruling out number five as well. And as for number two – it seems like it should have been apparent to me that he was restraining himself, which did not appear to be the case. And so, we’re left with homosexuality or ED.
I’m not sure where to go from here, but since I was married to two men with sexual dysfunction, I’m not inclined to want to repeat that sort of relationship. Or maybe I just got spoiled by the passionate European.
I can’t help but feel the Universe is playing another cruel joke on me because I wasn’t specific enough in my requests. I asked for a passionate relationship, and I got one. The catch: he lives on another continent. I asked for a local relationship that would allow for movie and dinner dates. Got it. Catch: his penis is broken.