I’ve been binge eating since Tuesday, when my stresses all came and overwhelmed me and left me foggy and seemingly incapable of making good food choices. I’m on the edge.

I’m sitting here now, listening to one voice in my head that is telling me to make myself a good breakfast, start some laundry, and then head to the gym. It’s a new day, and I can start fresh if I choose. The other voice says to warm up a big plate of baked ziti and then go back to bed.

I’m so tired of feeling fat. I really want my old body back. Why am I even considering sabatoging my efforts?

My mind paces… I occupy my hands and absentmindedly play electronic games. Pressing buttons… this goes here… that goes there… more points… oops – lost that one. Check out my score. Start again. This one is boring. Try a different game. Head begins to ache. Check email. Check dating service sites. Read blog feeds. Try to watch a movie. Can’t wait for bed time.

Tomorrow I will get up for work and kick myself for wasting away two whole days.

I am a walking disaster.

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