This weekend I had 2 ½ dates. The half wasn’t really a date at all, but a Friday night trip to the movies with a coworker friend who lives down the road. (We saw the Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire, and it was completely thought-provoking and memorable.)

My friend dropped me off and promptly went to his favorite bar to ogle his favorite waitress and her $5000 boobs. While he was there, he texted with me the entire time and finally propositioned me. When I said no and expressed my bewilderment that he thought the evening’s events would ever lead up to him being in my bed, he said how about if he spent all day with me Saturday, cuz he really liked me.

wtf???

(By the way, I said no thanks.)

Saturday morning my friend texted, emailed and called me to apologize and beg for my forgiveness, and Mr. N/A emailed me to tell me he planned to get our marriage annulled in the Catholic Church. He said he was hoping to have some sort of “catharsis” during the experience. I actually started to buy into that and became my sick, eternally optimistic self for an hour or two, while I fought back tears as I prepared for another date.

The two real dates were online finds. Saturday night dress was a low-cut black lace satin cami with a thin black sweater and crystal dangle earrings for dinner at a wonderful restaurant with a very attractive man who talked about his money and his ex-wife way too much. He called her a “kook” which sort of told me everything I needed to know.

Sunday afternoon was a coffee-shop hello in a more conservative sweater, a ruffled white scarf and silver hoops with a brilliant man who seemed to have everything I think I need and want (as far as a first date impression goes), but he showed his age and reminded me too much of my father for a physical attraction to ever exist for me.

I took myself to the movies after that and saw He’s Just Not that into You. I had heard all about the book when it came out, and of course I buy into the principles and think it’s helpful to hopeful to single women everywhere, so we can stop beating ourselves up so much when we don’t find our happy ever after. I bought myself a pizza and a bag of peanut m&m’s and delighted in someone else’s dating misery.

I came home and settled in for the Oscars and chatted online with a former college choir mate who announced he had been openly gay for about 22 years. Nice guy – great chat. Sigh… I love gay guys.

2 Comments on “Boys will be… Bitches?

  1. Keith,Regardless of your brother’s sexual preference, if he’s as warm and wonderful as you are, then I believe you are right. 🙂Lisa

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