I don’t know what this goddamned thing is, or what is triggering it, but I’m tired of breaking out like a leper every few years.
My coworker affectionately (I think) calls me “Herp,” since the rash does resemble pictures I’ve seen of the Herpes virus and its cousins. Blood tests have ruled out the most common types of Herpes. The closest things I’ve had are Chicken Pox and Shingles.
Thank god the area on my face never reached beyond my jawbone, so no one could really even see it. And it seemed to disappear very quickly, too, so now I just have a few reddish splotches that I can cover with concealer.
My arm, near the crook of my inside elbow, has several nasty looking red lumps of ooze that itch like hell – but only sometimes. I have a few stragglers on my side, stomach, and one (unfortunately) on my butt.
I really believe it’s some emotional irritation that works its way to my skin and erupts periodically to get my attention. Works every time.
But the mystery remains as to the source of the stress. I’ve effectively (for the moment) detached from Mr. N/A… what else is there to irritate me?
Can’t be work – I’ve been on vacation all fucking summer.
Can’t be a relationship – I don’t fucking have one. (hmm… is that it?)
The dog irritates me, with his NEVER-ending yapping at the world outside our windows. The kids irritate me with all their nasty habits of creating a mess and then pretending it doesn’t exist… and of breaking every single fucking rule I make while I’m at work without batting an eyelash.
I irritate myself because I can’t seem to maintain any semblance of order in my home or in my life.
But… that’s always been, so why the rash? Why now?