The Rock Star is bugging me a little. His obliviousness is bordering on thoughtlessness, and I don’t like it. I keep thinking about Mr. Nice Guy and all of his positive attributes – and there definitely wasn’t any problem at all in the sex-drive department, either. I miss him, but I wonder if it’s better for his sake if I maintain the distance that’s grown up around us once again.

I got a postcard from him a couple of weeks ago; I was so happy to get it. And I know he’ll remember my upcoming birthday – he always does.

I’ve decided to treat myself to a Carolina Liar concert in NYC this month, but I don’t know who to invite. My coworker said he would go, and I think we’d have a great time. The Rock Star is another option, but I’d probably have to buy his ticket – not sure I want to. Mr. Nice Guy would jump on a plane and meet me if I asked, probably. Or maybe I want to buy that very expensive front-row, center seat that’s still available – just one – for myself and go alone. I could drool over my music and enjoy my very first rock concert with no one to spoil my evening – no pressure to entertain anyone but myself. I think I would sit there and bask in it like a drawn-out orgasm. Seriously. That’s how much I like this music. (Not to mention, I’m way overdue for a drawn-out orgasm. Hell, I’d take any variety at this point.)

I’d sort of like to take my two daughters, but they’ll be with Mr. N/A for the weekend.

One of the greatest and most difficult things about being a single adult is that I get to make all the decisions, and I don’t have to consider anyone else’s needs or wants. But sometimes, I just don’t have any idea what in the hell would make me the happiest. It’s like I think I’ve just got one shot at it or something – do or die. And so I become paralyzed and do nothing instead, which rarely brings me the joy I seek.

3 Comments on “Late Night Random Thoughts About Men and Music

  1. Guys have “inertia” problems — we get in ruts, start thinking one way and can't get out of it. I was struck by the way the Rock Star wanted to watch “adult cartoons” with you. This just didn't strike me as something you'd be into.

    Breaking through to him or even moving the Rock Star into a new mindset seems tricky, but it seems as if he needs to be shaken a little.

    Most people seem to wait till it's over before they do the things they needed to do to make it work. I find that so sad.

    Wish I had some advice to give. I'm pulling for you though!

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  2. The comment above should be prefaced with the word “Some….” Some guys might have this problem, but others are in tune with and responsive to the needs and desires of the woman he treasures. Why should this woman have to give this guy a good swift kick in the ass? If he’s really “into her,” he should be figuring this all out on his own. JMHO.

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  3. Anon,

    Yeah, you're right. I'm really not into Family Guy or The Simpsons or any of the other adult cartoons out there right now. Not that I don't find them funny, but I would probably not put them on if I had control of the remote. And if I had a chance to have sex instead…well… that's just a no-brainer.

    One thing I've learned is that I can't change other people. It took me a long time to get that, but consequently, I don't feel compelled to shake up the Rock Star. I think I have to look at his behaviors, decide what I can and cannot deal with, and then yell, “Next!” if the pros don't outweigh the cons.

    To the second post's point, I am getting conflicting messages about whether or not he's “into me.” I think he thinks he is. But the bottom line, (again, something I've learned over time) is that it really doesn't matter whether or not he's into me if I'm not into him, and I have to figure that out first.

    I know women who base all of their feelings for a man off of the way they think the guy feels about them. That seems to have serious ramifications.

    Thank you for the comments. I know this blog is a diary of sorts, but it's an advantage to read others' opinions and views.

    In the meantime, I chose to spend this Sunday night alone with the remote. 🙂

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