Between dating and work, my spare time has dwindled down to a few precious hours a week, and sometimes it’s hard to set priorities.
Work is busy in a thrilling, exhausting, wonderful way; dating is sort of the same.
While I recently thought the Dentist’s days were numbered, this past weekend brought some strange events that led to some very unexpected (and unfamiliar) results.
It all started when a couple of pieces of our respective baggage collided during a lascivious moment. My stomach suddenly felt like it was turning inside out, and I had an impulse to flee the scene. I stayed put though, instead, for what seemed like an eternity, and finally we had a very grown-up conversation about what had happened.
Voices stayed calm. Tempers did not flare.
I was able to recognize my present feelings as past problems. It was a Twilight-Zone moment.
We spent hours (?) shyly revealing more of our Selves to each other with some difficult confessions, each of us fearing instant abandonment with the exposure. But I finally melted into his arms, where I felt warm and safe and not at all rejected, and I loved him for his honesty and vulnerability.
Since then, I find myself thinking of him often and wanting to make time in my life for him instead of looking for excuses to cut him out. It’s not with the obsessive nature of my past, but rather with a calm, secure curiosity to explore my Self in this very unexpected affair, whatever it is or is not, and for however long it lasts or does not.