I am an Oprah girl. A soccer mom with new-age attitudes. Vocal and insightful. Unstoppable. Willing to dig deep. Striving for my best life. Supporter of victims. Owner of Oprah-reviewed reading material. Miss Positivity.
I shop at Nordstrom, and I am part of the cult-followers of popular skincare and makeup products.
I also have a Martha Stewart thing. I have the perfect shade of paint on my walls, the perfect meatball recipe, an organized closet, and my towels are folded just so. I always have fresh flowers in the house.
I follow all the cool kids on the internet: Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and Deepak Chopra… life coaches, running coaches… spiritual leaders, etc. All of these people say something that resonates with me (despite the nonsense words like “vajayjay,” designed to maintain our purity). I hear some sort of Truth, or at least, life as I wish it could be.
And I’m not the only one. It’s a popular club.
But when I look at my life portrayed in a list of Facebook “Likes,” I find myself a little embarrassed by my blog. I curse a lot. Oprah and Martha don’t curse – not on public television. Short of Oprah’s weight issues and Martha’s jail time, who dreams either of them ever has a bad day?
Where, in the midst of all of the perfection, is a place for raw emotions… peaks and valleys… anger, frustration, and pure honesty? Is the Pollyanna life real or just a façade? What parts of that lifestyle are worth striving for, and what parts are simply denial of my Self?
The feel-good stories start to wear on me after awhile. I’m not sure if they are honest.
The Universe is made up of Darkness and Light. One makes the other more significant. Life is an ocean, and the waves take me up and down. The downs don’t go away just because I use my church voice.
I really think the secret is to embrace the dark – to talk about it openly and to become fearlessly vulnerable and imperfect.
Anyway, while I’m struggling to discover Life’s greatest Truths, for now, I’m not going to sell myself out to win some sort of internet popularity contest.
My story. My lessons. My life.
My potty mouth.