They told me it takes time to heal from a divorce and an abusive relationship; they told me it may take years.

Five and a half years have passed since I sat before a judge who ruled on the dissolution of my marriage after an eloquent speech about the gravity of it all.

My divorce brought enormous amounts of pain, anger, and sadness. It affected not only me, but certainly my children and anyone else who has had to endure my frustrations at learning how to be divorced from a long-term marriage.

The marriage ended, but the abuse worsened. Fortunately, I no longer have to live with it under my roof, although co-parenting necessitates much more communication than I care to have with my former husband.

He is rude. He is condescending. He is controlling and demanding. He isn’t nice, except when the world is watching.

And I was angry at him for a very long time.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. I didn’t get to test out of parts of the process because I’m smart. I couldn’t rush it along with sheer will and determination.

Healing takes time, and time… takes time.

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