When I was a young girl, I remember lying awake at night in my bed, going over the day’s events in my mind and counting the number of “good” and “bad” things that happened.  Then I would decide if I felt happy or upset.  It seems so silly, but I guess I do that unconsciously as an adult, too.  I wasn’t thrilled about my race last weekend until I found out I set a personal best.  Then I was over the moon.  My thoughts control my feelings. 
Today started off with a bang at 5 a.m. when I popped out of bed and went about my pre-run morning routine.  The information from the scale immediately went into the “fucking awesome” category, if there is one of those on my mental tracking list.  I really can’t believe how well this new food plan is working for me.  It is a miracle – thank you, Universe.
My run was “eh.”  The 5-milers are becoming a bit of a bore now, since it’s not enough time to really let go of much. 
The daily grind added excitement and adrenalin to the mix, though.  I think I’ve finally met my match in sarcastic wit, and I can never really tell what this guy’s thinking, which provides me with hours of free entertainment and keeps my mind from sprinting off down Doom-and-Gloom Drive.  I’m usually pretty good at reading people, but this one… not so much.  I love a good challenge.
This executive pointed out to me today that who I appear to be to him and who I tell him I am don’t sync up.  (Like anything he says and does syncs up.)  When I am venting and showing off and expressing myself, I suppose I’m tapping in to the more masculine side of myself, which happens to be beneficial in the work environment.  I am Tough Girl – in a dress and 5” heels – and I don’t take any shit.
But I complain that I’m too soft – that I’m insecure and unsure.  He doesn’t believe me. 
This whole blog began as an experiment to discover and embrace each of my different roles and personalities.  Work is a wonderful venue to mix it up.  Masculine traits such as assertiveness and bold egotism blended with the ever-feminine blushing demureness and open sharing of my Self make me feel vibrant and alive.
So it will be interesting to see who I am in this corporate world dominated by male leaders.  I think it’s a good place for me – and my sarcastic wit.
I can bring home the bacon, but I will never ever forget I’m a woman.

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