I’m lost in obsessive thoughts. About this, about that. They’re all swirling around like tiny leaves on a windy day, being tossed about randomly and never finding a place to land. I want to lay them all out on the ground and organize them into nice, neat piles. This goes here… this goes there… oh, and this goes with that… But I can’t catch the little fuckers, so off they go.
I suppose I could be content to watch them fly, but it’s so hard to just stand there and do nothing. So instead, I stand there, do nothing, watch them fly, and freak out because I don’t know what’s what.
Maybe there was a point in my life when I had this much going on, but I don’t remember it. Most of the last few decades were sucked up with Mr. N/A nonsense instead of my own life story. I just don’t have time for him now – I have races to run… decisions to make… friends to make… love to give… sex to have… and a beautiful life to live.
I am so entirely grateful for the life I’ve been given, despite the moments when it’s “just not fair.”
Life is good. Fucking great. And I am happy.