What happens when fear creeps in to a loving heart? Worry, stress, upset, stomach aches, dull skin, tired eyes, chronic tearfulness and too much god damn thinking.
Fear is everything that love is not. Fear is closed up – impatient, anxious, tight, holding on, needing… an open heart that becomes afraid begins to shut down and hoist up walls of protection from perceived hurt and pain, cowering in a corner and speaking with a shaky voice from behind a dark veil – sort of like the Wizard of Oz. A closed heart feels icky.
How do I remain open while feeling fear? Is it possible?
Being open requires trust – something that hasn’t come easy for me in my life. Who or what am I supposed to trust? The other person? No… I think I have to trust the Universe. I’m thinking of the game where someone stands behind you and you cross your arms over your chest and fall straight backward into their arms. In order for me to do that exercise, I would have to know the worst-case scenario. If the other person doesn’t hold up his end of the deal, I might get a few bruises as I fell to the ground. I could live with that. But if the consequence of an unsuccessful catch meant I would fall to my death, well now, that’s an entirely different story.
Can I trust the Universe while experiencing fear at the same time? Maybe so – maybe I could get by in some sort of Survival Mode. But fear still inhibits my ability to love openly, which, as I have experienced, allows me to receive the richest gifts and live life more fully and awake. Survival Mode has served me well in the past, but now that I have been living authentically, I don’t think I can settle for less.
Fear, be gone. I choose Love. Just… like… that.
To him who is in fear everything rustles. ~ SOPHOCLES, Acrisius