Month: November 2012

Hot Mess

TGIF, because tomorrow is a sleep-in Saturday, a rare and coveted event for me.  I’m wiped out – emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually… and any other way there is to be tired.  This would be an excellent time for a Caribbean beach vacation if I weren’t so intent on getting back into my routines and my “groove.” The drama with my sister has come to … Read More Hot Mess

Brain Pain

http://www.tut.com I’m feeling surprisingly good, smack dab in the middle of assorted shit and ugliness.  It’s amazing what a little exercise and healthy eating can do for a girl. That, and a brain adjustment. Some of my favorite go-to’s when I need a tune up: What’s changed?  Has anything about my situation really changed, or is it just my head or my perceptions?  If … Read More Brain Pain

The Way We Were

Grandma & Grandpa and a few of my cousins.  I’m on Grandpa’s lap. My crazy-ass sister is at it again.  Thankfully, this time I’m not her target.   I haven’t seen our father this upset since my mom left him.  But now he gets it, and he finally understands what I’ve been trying to tell him for years about my not-so-stable sibling.   Apparently I wasn’t … Read More The Way We Were

The Ghost of Birthdays Past

I have glimpses of my second birthday party in my memory.  I remember sitting at Grandma’s table on a booster stool, staring at a beautiful carousel birthday cake of red and white icing with miniature molded sugar animals all around.  I remember Baby First Step in her sweet little dress.  And I remember throwing up everywhere.  Hence, the foreshadowing of birthdays to come. I … Read More The Ghost of Birthdays Past

‘Twas Two Days Before Thanksgiving…

… and all through the state every hostess was stressing, staying up much too late. After a day of assorted yucky things at work, I began my descent into the ugly mire that is the holidays.   I drove to Pennsylvania to retrieve my daughter from college, and I broke my golden rule by tuning in Christmas carols before Thanksgiving.  I belted out melodies from … Read More ‘Twas Two Days Before Thanksgiving…

Recovery

Last night, I crawled in between my high thread-count sheets and pulled my warm down comforter in a soft flannel duvet up to my chin.  My body sank gratefully into my mattress, and I doused the light by 8:30, after drinking “one more glass” of water.  I woke at 11:11 pm with an all-over uncomfortable feeling and a very sore body, like a most … Read More Recovery

The Best Time of My Life: Philadelphia Marathon 2012

We were shooting for a 4:15, my friend and I.  Well, actually she was.  I shook my head yes when she asked me months ago to pace this with her; I had lots of doubts.  Lots.  I would have been happy with a 4:30 and it still would have been a PR for me.   The weather was brisk but perfect for the run through … Read More The Best Time of My Life: Philadelphia Marathon 2012

Running Around

I have an hour before my self-imposed early bedtime.  I’m itching to write, but my anxiety about tomorrow’s race is blocking up my head.  It was a stressful week, and I’ve consumed enough carbs for 5 people, I think – not the good kind. This busy time of year feels sort of like a marathon.  I know it’s going to be hard.  I know … Read More Running Around

Saturday’s Song

 You touch these tired eyes of mineAnd map my face out line by lineAnd somehow growing old feels fine… You healed these scars over timeEmbraced my soulYou loved my mindYou’re the only angel in my life… And though my edges may be roughI never feel I’m quite enough It may not seem like very muchBut I’m yours I may not have the softest touchI … Read More Saturday’s Song

Look at Me

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”                                                                        ― AlbertCamus It was a tragic day, of sorts.  Weeks of assorted … Read More Look at Me

Decisions, Decisions…

Well, I’m back to eating myself into a sugar coma and wanting to step out of my skin.   My track record with men this month is as follows: Mr. Nice Guy wants to take me to Paris A day in NY with an old friend got cancelled thanks to Sandy Argued with the one who loves me for the first time and then had … Read More Decisions, Decisions…

The Sandy Effect

At happy hour on Friday we played pool and talked and drank; the weather forecast was the furthest thing from our minds.  None of us had any idea what the next few days would bring.   The media presented “Frankenstorm” coverage with its usual drama and flair, and I was somewhat conscious of the fact that I should cut the grass and clean up the … Read More The Sandy Effect