Well, I’m back to eating myself into a sugar coma and wanting to step out of my skin.
My track record with men this month is as follows:
- Mr. Nice Guy wants to take me to Paris
- A day in NY with an old friend got cancelled thanks to Sandy
- Argued with the one who loves me for the first time and then had a nightmare that he was holding my head under the water and I couldn’t breathe
- Received a marriage proposal from a drunk guy in a top hat outside FedEx field after the Redskins game (he actually gave me his number despite my protest)
- Met a dentist at the same Redskins game while posing for photos who apparently has an excellent memory and shocked me with a LinkedIn connection request
- Declined an offer from a very cute 20-something-year-old to walk me to my car after the football game
- Almost got felt up by a tailgater playing catch who purposefully stuck out his palm spread wide in front of me
- Received texts from Mr. E and the tenacious NY French Guy who both want to take me out
- Documented numerous reasons why it’s a bad idea to hang out with Mr. Big
I’m sick of being celibate, but I don’t know if I’m ready to have sex again. I miss my daily gym therapy with Coach. Though it’s not a physical relationship, I get filled up somehow with those workouts, and it’s enough to tide me over until I decide to get that bikini wax and release some tension somewhere. Without the workouts, I am frustrated and cranky and drowning in a pile of Halloween candy wrappers.
What am I going to do?