“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
It was a tragic day, of sorts. Weeks of assorted challenges finally collided with a galactic boom, and we were faced with the resulting mess. The jolt from it was impossible to ignore and forced us to confront the things we had been politely pretending did not exist. Tearful, honest conversations followed, opening my heart up wide and leaving me vulnerable and frightened in the face of the Truth.
“Look at me,” he commanded gently, and I did. And in his face, I saw something soft and lovely and caring – like I had never seen before in a man.
And it was painful, in the most beautiful, wonderful way, my heart aching with a mix of longing, lament, and love that sent a resonating tremor though my body with every beat. Exposing my soul was like opening my eyes in a bright light after months of darkness. It was uncomfortable at first, but the more I adjusted to it, the brighter I wanted the world to be, until every dark, scary place was illuminated fully and no dark shadows remained.
I was keenly aware that he was giving me something of himself that did not come readily. But when the bandages began to pull away from that which lay hiding underneath, he gave it a quick yank and suddenly, there was Truth among us – bare-ass naked and divine, standing unashamed.
There would be no profound spiritual conclusions drawn – no tidy resolutions or goals or tasks to complete. Problems were not solved.
But there, amidst the rubble, was a moment when souls mingled together and something extraordinary enveloped me and whispered, “Look at him.”
“There is not love of life without despair about life.”