I flipped my button to “off” awhile ago.  I can do that sometimes – just turn off my sex drive like a light switch.  God knows, I have enough other things in my life to keep me busy.

Sometimes it feels good to shut down sex at will.  It makes me feel strong and powerful and resolute.  It’s sort of like being on a diet – you don’t love giving up your favorite things, but you know you’re building a better you, and denying yourself is part of the process.  Sometimes it feels good to be hungry.

But the sparks are threatening to reconnect my wires, and then what?  My zealous sex drive has cursed me for years.  Now is not a good time.

It scares me a little.

I continually put myself into tough positions.  Low sex drives, limp dicks… guys who can get it up who suck in bed or who live thousands of miles away…

I believe the best physical “feel good” activity for me right now is a hard workout or a run.  It kinda feels like sex if it’s really good.  Kinda.  Sorta.  Okay, not really, but the afterglow is similar.

Sigh…

I really have to stop eating those damn green m&m’s.

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