Every time I feel really happy lately, I think, “This is it.  Surely it just doesn’t get any better than this.”  And then it does.  It seems the more I open my heart, the more happiness it can hold.  It’s fantastic. 
I think I made big progress this week in learning to love in the face of fear.  I feel great about that, and the results are very motivating.  It feels beautiful not to hate myself. 
I feel shining and bright and sparkling and full of light – sort of like a Christmas tree.  🙂
I came out of my marriage 7 years ago feeling dazed and completely uncertain in my own decision-making.  I’ve spent a lot of time since then trying to figure out what’s the “right” thing to do or say in every circumstance.  I like to be right.  It’s agonizing to want to do everything perfectly all the time, and the grey areas can leave me paralyzed.  I like black and white.
Along the way, I’ve learned various lessons, such as:

  • Everything will work together for good.
  • Every choice is worth my while
  • Go with your gut.

Today, I can say I’m not one step closer to discovering any earth-shattering rules about how to live a good life.  I have absolutely no idea what is right or wrong in any given situation, because it always depends.  Stealing – wrong.  Stealing a loaf of bread from a bountiful table to feed a starving child – heroism.  What a stressful word we live in.  
But one thing I know for sure (as Oprah would say) is that I desire to live in Love.  I believe that if I can remain open instead of yielding to fear, all of those worrisome decisions will melt together into a happy heart.
Yes, I’m convinced of that. 

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