I feel like a broken record. I don’t know how many times I can try to describe my happiness without being repetitive or nauseating.
First of all, I’m sharing my hope; if anyone follows my stories and can relate to any of the challenges, that person should know that an unhappy life can be changed in the twinkling of an eye. Being miserable today does not convict you to a lifetime of it.
Second, since my emotions are constantly exploding around me with such passion and unbridled energy, I need to direct the impact somewhere. I’m a writer. So I write.
I keep sharing it, because the more I empty myself of it, the more joy I’m capable of receiving. My expectations were surpassed a long time ago. Now I’m just testing the limits (as I often do) and so far, I haven’t found any.
Just how fucking happy can one person be?
Sometimes it’s absolutely terrifying to feel it. Is it real or just a dream? I wonder if I’m running along obliviously like a cartoon character who goes off the edge of a cliff, only to suddenly realize he’s run out of land, and with an “uh-oh” plummets like a boulder to the earth.
So many things in this world that bring me pleasure are guilty indulgences. Is it really okay to love so much? Is someone going to tell me to cut back or watch my joy intake because it might adversely affect my health?
I’m so appreciative for this time in my life – so grateful that I have an opportunity to explore living in Love and all of its wonderful side effects.
Love isn’t a fairy tale, after all. It’s not something I have to go out and find or sit around and wait for. It’s not something bestowed upon a lucky few, like a lottery. It’s not the result of good decision-making. It has nothing whatever to do with a white horse or a palace or a glass slipper. It isn’t found in a black velvet box with a beautiful bow or a dozen roses – or even a whole fucking truckload of flowers.
Love is receiving an inspiration and recognizing an opportunity to open up. It’s a letting go of fear. It’s a deep breath. It’s relaxing into unseen arms. It’s an unclenching of all those protective muscles we have at the ready to fight off dark ugly things. It’s a realization that I’m not opening myself up to a violation, but to a life-saving energy that has the power to transform the world.
And it was right here inside of me all along.