Month: February 2013

Rub it Out

Yielding to my desperate need to be touched by human hands, I scheduled a last-minute massage this evening.  The tiny young girl packed a punch with her deep-pressure moves, and I confess I cried a couple of times.  But my shoulders feel looser, and I’m inhaling the smell of stress-relieving essential oils every time I take a breath. I’m stressed out, and I so … Read More Rub it Out

Girl Parts

My girl parts are stirring and waking up after a long nap. I’m not prepared to deal with them, and I wish they’d just go back to sleep, but I have that “uh-oh” feeling that they won’t be soothed with another lullaby. I had a sexy little dream last night about laying my head down on a beautiful bare chest that enveloped me in … Read More Girl Parts

Miles and Smiles

I’m pooped.  Plum tuckered out.  Draggin’ my wagon.  Fifteen miles through the countryside on my favorite lollipop route never used to seem so exhausting.   But after 7 hard miles yesterday, I guess it was sort of like 22.  That’s a lot.  I’m beginning to notice a change in my legs on the long slow distance – in the control of them – due to … Read More Miles and Smiles

The Write Time

After a hard run and a scalding shower, I donned my pajamas again – because I can.   And it’s raining.  And disgusting.  And it’s just a good day to hang out. My weekends have become so focused on running – there’s really no energy left for much else.  No crazy, turn-the-house-inside-out cleaning sessions.  No day trips or dates or anything, really.  Just running and … Read More The Write Time

Correction

My emotions were running a little rampant today, but I think they’ve finally settled back into their favorite happy place.  I’m in for the evening, dressed in my comfy, extraordinarily soft flannel Victoria’s Secret baby-pink striped jammies.  I just polished off a delicious dish of Chipotle knock-off food, and my kids are bonding over some sci-fi television show. Thank god it’s Friday. I just … Read More Correction

Blessed Contentment

Sigh… I’m smiling from my toes tonight – just because. Today was a valiant effort to return to some semblance of normal, and I liked that.  It was Back Day at the gym, and I think I relaxed a little more than I have in the past few days, though I still don’t remember most of the session.  Lots of positive things are happening, … Read More Blessed Contentment

Shift Happens

The time has finally come to tell my story.  The theme came together beautifully in my mind, and I am ready to begin.  I feel divinely inspired.  I feel open and ready to write from my soul instead of from my head. I’m charged up with excitement and of course I have a million demons screaming at me that I’m not good enough or … Read More Shift Happens

Sex, Love, and Cookies

It’s been a big day.   I gave myself permission to skip my scheduled 4 miles, but even as I sit here and type, I’m wondering if I should jump on my treadmill for a spin. I’m still trying to get my bearings and collect my thoughts. Here’s what I know for sure: Arm Day is a gift, and even when I’m too stressed to … Read More Sex, Love, and Cookies

Lovin’ from the Oven

My body is trying to talk to me, and I’m not clear on the message.   My “go-to” reference says I have a lack of emotional support, and that I’m feeling unloved or holding back love.  I suppose any of those things could be true to a degree, even though I’m feeling closer to living in Love than ever before. I tried the shiatsu back … Read More Lovin’ from the Oven

Life is But a Dream

Sitting here, nursing my sore ass and quads, watching Oprah interviews in front of a fire, I really can’t imagine having the responsibility of a traditional relationship right now. I don’t want to take care of anyone, and I don’t want anyone fussing over me unless I’m paying them to do so. I don’t want any obligations and I don’t want to owe anything … Read More Life is But a Dream

Revival of the Fittest

I am wiped-out, don’t-fucking-touch-me exhausted. Today’s run took me through a lifetime of feelings and emotions over 14 miles. I bundled up so nothing was exposed to the biting wind but a small part of my face. By the end of the second mile, the cold had evaporated into the countryside, and I loosened the tie on my hood and let it fall down … Read More Revival of the Fittest

Train Tracks

I’m straddling the chasm between joyful bliss and grin-and-bear-it survival mode. It’s a narrow split but a long fall if I lose my balance. This round of training for my spring marathon puts it all in my face with the perfect symbolism that distance running affords. I love my runs. I hate my runs. I feel exhilarated with kick-ass confidence. I feel broken and … Read More Train Tracks