Sitting here, nursing my sore ass and quads, watching Oprah interviews in front of a fire, I really can’t imagine having the responsibility of a traditional relationship right now.

I don’t want to take care of anyone, and I don’t want anyone fussing over me unless I’m paying them to do so. I don’t want any obligations and I don’t want to owe anything to anyone.

I don’t want to share my bed, my closets, or my remote. Not right now.

But I do want to love and be loved. I need that.

Refusing to fall into the dating trap and allowing love to come into my life without all of the usual expectations of society is, I think, one of the best gifts I’ve ever given myself.

Reviewing my posts, it’s pretty obvious I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I must be doing something right.

What did I do? I removed the “should’s” from my life. I try my best every day to keep my heart open, even when it feels scary. Especially when it feels scary. I try not to have expectations. I’m learning to trust. I gratefully recognize and receive gifts with Love.

I’m letting go, and in yielding control, I am being filled up. It’s like sex, really. I have to open up, relax, and let Love ravish me, strong and firm.

I’m so fucking happy.

One day when the light is glowing 
I’ll be in my castle golden 
But until the gates are open 
I just wanna feel this moment
~ Pitbull, “Feel This Moment” 

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