My body is trying to talk to me, and I’m not clear on the message.  
My “go-to” reference says I have a lack of emotional support, and that I’m feeling unloved or holding back love.  I suppose any of those things could be true to a degree, even though I’m feeling closer to living in Love than ever before.
I tried the shiatsu back massager.  I tried rubbing out the pain with The Stick.  I applied a sample of BioFreeze, and I even took a hot Epsom salt bath with aromatherapy (despite the consequences).  Nothing is working.  I’m rubbing, rolling, stretching, and relaxing into the hurt, but it just won’t go away.  In fact, it seems to be getting worse.
I had an invitation to relax in Portugal this week with my running shoes and a swimsuit.  I declined for various reasons, but I’m wondering if I made a mistake.  Running away from everything and hiding out in Europe seems like a nice alternative at this point.
Maybe it’s the “giving love” that’s holding me up.  While I’m learning how to receive it, I’m quite sure I have no idea how to give it.  Where would I even begin? 
I’ve confused sex with love for years, and I had “baking cookies” syndrome in my marriage.  How do I give Love without using my body or my kitchen mixer?  

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: