My girl parts are stirring and waking up after a long nap. I’m not prepared to deal with them, and I wish they’d just go back to sleep, but I have that “uh-oh” feeling that they won’t be soothed with another lullaby.
I had a sexy little dream last night about laying my head down on a beautiful bare chest that enveloped me in contentedness and delight. I can feel it now – the warmth of his skin against my face and the rock-hard muscles underneath. I longed for him to make love to me, but I was so completely satisfied and happy just to lie there against him, that I told myself it didn’t matter so much whether or not we had sex.
I got out of bed to undress and settle in more comfortably to this most divine place in the world. With my back to him, I removed my clothes shyly, and as I unfastened the hook on my bra and tossed it aside, he left the room.
The first idea that comes to mind is rejection. I’ve been in that place physically and emotionally over and over again. I would guess that I pushed things too far by getting naked. I would tell myself that never again would I put myself in such a position to be embarrassed and undesired. Up go the walls; my home security system has gotten pretty tight over the years.
But what if I get to write the story the way I want it to be? It’s just a fucking dream, anyway. He noted that I turned my back to him. Maybe he thought I wasn’t interested? No, because strong men go after what they want – isn’t that the lesson that most women learn the hard way? (a.k.a. – He’s Just Not that Into You.)
Maybe it isn’t about sex at all, but about something deeper. I’m just too frightened to expose myself completely – to face someone and let everything fall to the floor as I strip off all that hides me to the rest of the world, one garment at a time. That’s pretty scary.
Oh. Shit. It happened again. I just had another “aha” moment.
This stuff is getting too heavy. Surely I’m getting delirious from lack of sex. I just want to be pulled close, passionately kissed, and touched everywhere. And my girl parts would love to get their hands on some boy parts. A buff bare chest would be a great start.