Today I renewed my CPR certification and spent the morning pressing my body weight into a plastic mannequin through the palms of my hands.  It’s hard to believe that simple movement could mean the difference between life and death.  Human touch saves lives.  It’s kind of a shame that’s the closest thing to touching a male chest I’ve experienced in months and months.

After that it was off to the gym for back and ab work.  Coach said I had perfect form for my back exercises.  Yeah, he said perfect.  Sigh… I love it when I get it right.  His eyes were twinkling with smiles while he worked his impressive Tee Major moves on the swings.  The man is a rock.  It was a good session; as long as we avoid our taboo topic list, everybody’s happy.   

The sauna air was dry and super hot, just the way I like it, and I repeated yesterday’s exercise of lying back and letting my mind go to its favorite place.  The only thing wrong with that is getting myself all wound up and having to dress and return to the office, pretending to be composed.

I wasn’t composed.

 

Heart Attack – Demi Lovato
Putting my defenses up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack


Never put my love out on the line
Never said yes to the right guy
Never had trouble getting what I want
But when it comes to you I’m never good enough


When I don’t care
I can play him like a Ken doll
Won’t wash my hair
Then make him bounce like a basketball


But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yes you, make me so nervous that I just can’t hold your hand


You make me glow
But I cover up, won’t let it show
So I’m putting my defenses up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack


Never break a sweat for the other guys
When you come around I get paralyzed
And every time I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help


It’s just not fair
Brings more trouble than it all is worth
I gasp for air
It feels so good, but you know it hurts


But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear perfume
For you, make me so nervous that I just can’t hold your hand

 

You make me glow
But I cover up, won’t let it show
So I’m putting my defenses up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack

 

The feelings got lost in my lungs
They’re burning, I’d rather be numb
And there’s no one else to blame
So scared I’ll take off and run
I’m flying too close to the sun
And I’ll burst into flames

 

You make me glow
But I cover up, won’t let it show
So I’m putting my defenses up
Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack
I think I’d have a heart attack

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