Assorted stress has reached a boiling point, and it’s time to lift the lid and relieve some pressure. Sometimes the very act of acknowledging it to another person is enough to take the edge off.
I’m learning that this process is really rather normal, and I don’t have to feel like I’m some sort of freak who isn’t fit to be around when it’s time to vent.
I can talk to him in a calm way that may involve tears but not screaming and yelling or punishing silent treatments. This is new for me. It’s like learning a new language. I keep waiting for him to hate me and when he doesn’t, I am in wild-eyed wonder.
I’ve discovered that as long as I’m confident that he will listen, I don’t have to insist on immediate gratification. I don’t need to hash out all the ugly details right now or I’ll fall apart. I’m learning to (gasp) consider another person’s needs besides my own.
My guard is dropping a little, and I’m beginning to relax. It feels so good to be myself and to feel safe in that.
I think I’m at the turn-around point in this out-and-back run. It’s time to get back home to my happy place. I can smell the wood burning in that warm, comfy fireplace, and my favorite chair is just waiting for my worn-out ass.