Today was even better than yesterday, if that’s at all possible. Now I know for certain that circumstances which threaten to lay me out flat have absolutely no control over my disposition unless I allow it.
Besides, it was Arm Day – kind of hard to go wrong on Arm Day. Coach’s biceps were in rare form, and I confess I literally had goose bumps at one point. I could have stared at them all day long. All. Day. Long.
The next best thing to drooling over Coach’s arms in real life is fantasizing about Spartacus, and one led to the other during my sauna time. Things were getting a little steamy in the dry sauna today. Gratitude.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only woman in the world who wants to have sex and isn’t getting any – the story of my life. Still, I defend my decision not to hook up with anyone for a cheap thrill.
Once in a while, I unwillingly go back to a place in my past when I felt rejected and unwanted – usually it has to do with sex. I recognize that demon and I know when I go there that it has nothing to do with the present moment, but it continues to haunt me. It’s difficult for me to believe that anyone could possibly care for me the way I’ve always dreamed of being cared for or want me the way I desire to be wanted, yet it’s in that very idea that I am able to Love more deeply – when I feel loved and wanted.
So I will continue my imaginary gladiator games… and I will continue to challenge the limits of how much happiness a heart can hold… and I will continue to live in Love.
All. Day. Long.