Obsession #1 – Running 

I went for my first run in 11 days this evening.  It was like the first time I put ice skates on at the beginning of the winter season – so unfamiliar and shaky.  It’s such a fucking head game.  I felt like a sad little girl who dropped her ice cream in the mud and was given another; I was part happy and part terrified that I’d drop it again, and it just wasn’t the same as the first one no matter what.  My confidence was low, and my body was stiff.  It was a very strange experience.  I know my comeback will be 98% mental.  Hard to believe the degeneration that occurred in such a short time. 
Obsession #2 – Gym Time
Today was Day 3 of Heavy Work-Out Week with Coach.  My energy level was sluggish, but Coach said it was to be expected and I will trust him on that.  It feels funny to have low energy around him because most of the time I’m high as a kite.  The circuits left me breathing hard and pleasantly exhausted.  I enjoyed a hot sauna but tried to keep my head out of the Spartacus fantasies.  It worked for a while, but I got wound up again this afternoon and as I’m settling in here this evening my mind is drifting…
Obsession #3 – Spartacus
My whole body tingles when I think of it.  I’m being touched everywhere with no one laying a hand on me.  How is that even possible?  I get goose bumps and my stomach turns and tickles like it does on a steep downhill roller coaster ride.  My face is flushed.  I laugh all day; my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.  It takes tremendous effort to focus on anything else for any length of time – I always come back to this.  I am absolutely obsessed, and I know that I am.  The girl who likes to be in charge of everything has lost control completely to a gladiator, but not by the sword.    
  

One Comment on “Obsessions

  1. 1: Yay! I am so happy for you! The wait is over! All things will follow now! Take it slow and you will running strong in no time!! You're right too, the only real degeneration is mental. With your fitness level, it won't take u long to run comfortable again. 🙂

    2: Gym time is so important! You need to lean on coach for reassurance that off days are human. And to hold u back from going out to strong! (Yes you)!

    3: There is nothing that can get the blood pumping and the heart racing while sitting still like the thoughts of passion and sex! To be at work and being aroused just by thinking of being touched is powerful. My heart is pounding right now with my fantasies and what I want to write. I can easily understand the tingles and goosebumps you are getting. You are a very strong woman Lisa and thats why u need a break. A chance to let it go, to be touched sensually, to have every inch of your body kissed and to be pleasured unconditionally. To be loved on and worshiped like u deserve!! Such a nice obsession to have!

    Like

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