You just never know what the day will bring, but I suppose it’s always best to start with an open heart.
I headed out first thing this morning for a quick 3 miles and picked up the pace a little bit instead of running easy as I have been. I still have my mother’s voice in my head telling me to be careful and not overdo it or I might get hurt. I know there are times to heed that advice, but I’ve learned that breathing hard doesn’t mean my heart will stop, and it’s okay to sweat and pant. Most likely, I won’t die from a 5k run.
So, with that out of the way just as the morning rains came, I showered and headed up the turnpike where an interesting day awaited my attention.
Life choices can be life-changing, and that scares the shit out of me.
For control freaks like me, who desperately want to manipulate every detail of my future and write the story before I actually live it, making a decision can be excruciating. Sometimes, it just boils down to choosing and trusting.
Someone special told me a beautiful story today. A warm story of helping and caring and urging another person to soar. Soar. It’s one of my favorite Christina Aguilera songs, and I have it on my running playlist. Flying can be scary if you fear losing the comfortable things that surround you in the nest. It’s so scary to let go.
And still I believe that my heart has been cracked wide open and nothing – no flying, soaring, or other gallivanting through the air – will ever shake me from the Love I am now living. I am convinced that, no matter what, this will transcend all things and keep me living a happy life. It must. Choosing any other path is out of the question, no matter who thinks it may be best for me.
So, with running and with soaring, I’m shutting down Mom’s voice and vowing that I will not get hurt – I will only grow stronger and continue to open my heart. Loving more deeply involves trust and sometimes a little sacrifice, but Love will always hold steadfast for the fearless.