The fog has been lifting over the past few years, just a little bit at a time. When it’s foggy, you can’t see what you can’t see. It’s only when it dissipates that you start to know what’s really there.
One of my children holds a lot of resentment that her dad and I moved her around every couple of years and that she never really had a chance to settle in anywhere and make friends. While most of the moves were her dad’s idea, for work opportunities, some were my preference and I agree that we yanked her around a lot.
It dawned on me today that I haven’t done such a great job of establishing local friendships in my area. I’ve made various excuses for that over the years, but I wonder if it’s because I’ve been yanked around myself. It’s not like I can’t make friends; I have a long list of classmates dating back to grade school with whom I’m still quite close, and life-long, very close relationships with former coworkers from a 10-year run.
Just when I would begin to relax into a home, it was time to move again. I relocated 8 times while I was married to Mr. N/A – just about every 2 years.
But now it’s time to settle in. It’s time to live in the now. I don’t have to hold tight until the next move. Maybe I will leave this house one day, but I’m going to make every inch of it mine while I’m here.
I’ve had a surge of energy since I began to prepare for my parents’ visit last month, and I’m finally tackling some projects that are long overdue. I’m open to the idea of making new friends and even having people over to visit. It’s time to get things ready. Hell, even if no one ever comes over, I am ready to enjoy my home.
I braved the aisles at Home Depot, and my tool bag is open along with my heart.
Here we go…