Today was tough from the very beginning, but everything turned around in the final hours, and I’m going to bed a very happy and content woman.
I headed out shortly after dawn for 6 miles in high heat and humidity. It took its toll, but I survived the run, stomach issues and all, and as usual I felt better for having done it.
I felt a little lethargic all day – I suppose I’m doing a bit of a sugar detox, and I’m feeling the slow withdrawal from my favorite drug as the electric buzz dissipates.
There is a part of me, at this age, who thinks who the hell cares what I eat or how I look – I’ll probably never be nude in front of a man again, so what’s the big deal anyway? But aside from my vanity, there is the voice of reason who wants to be at a good racing weight and who knows that being high on sugar numbs me out and prevents me from feeling the really good stuff.
It always seems to come down to sex and food for me. I can never get enough of either one. So here I am, starving myself to death both ways.
But despite counting calories and not getting laid, I did have a very good day in the end. I relaxed, I laughed a lot, and I let Love fill up all those vast, insatiable holes inside of me.
And I am happy.
Psst… I’m still going to dream about sex when I shut off the light.