I breathed deeply – really deeply – today for the first time in awhile. Coach recognized the change in me before I could put my finger on it, but I knew I felt more relaxed, happy, and present. When I’m numbed out, I don’t know what I’m missing – I only know I’m uncomfortable. But god, I wouldn’t miss a moment of this beautiful life on purpose. Not now.
I’m too tired to analyze why I shut down for a short while. Instead, I’d rather just bask in the glow of the here and now.
Feeling the sensation of my heart opening up wide and receiving the Love the world gives to me is the only thing that rivals great sex. And it satisfies me in ways that even sex cannot. But oh, what I wouldn’t give to unite the two.
Instead of sex, I soothed my soul with a gorgeous 7-mile run through the countryside at the day’s end accompanied by long shadows and a setting sun. It was exhilarating, and I impulsively threw my arms open wide several times in a gesture of gratefulness and receptiveness to all that I am given.
I am moved to tears today. My heart feels like it’s going to burst from all the happiness it’s holding right now. And, for the first time in my life, I wouldn’t trade my Cinderella story for anyone else’s life in the whole world. I’ve got the best life ever. Me. The geeky girl from Indiana. And it’s a crazy, unexpected, non-traditional, beautiful, wonderful thing.