I woke up early and cranked out 4 miles plus 8 x 30-second hill repeats to kick off the week. The happy cocks announced the new day with loud crows as though they themselves had given birth to it. I plugged in, worked hard, and connected to my body and to the earth. I did some “Mom” stuff, and then I proceeded to consume food like an insatiable black hole.
I attended a funeral yesterday.
I sat in the back of the Catholic church and watched people around me crying for a man they never really knew. Attendance was sparse, and I felt more sad about that than I did that this super-intelligent rocket-scientist had passed on and avoided a whole lot of inevitable suffering through his disease. Why were my friends crying? Is crying contagious? Were they being supportive? Are funerals supposed to be sad? Were they afraid of their own mortality?
At the end of my life, I hope the room is full. I hope that people come out of the woodwork to say goodbye and to support the rest of my family. But I hope they don’t cry.
I hope, when that day comes, that I’ve made a difference in someone’s life. I hope at least one person still living believes their life was a little bit brighter because I touched it – even if it was just a smile in their direction.
Countless souls have touched mine – some, more than others, and certainly in different ways. From a stranger at the supermarket who complimented me to the love of my life who turned me inside-out, these souls changed me, if even just for a moment. It’s too bad it isn’t possible to gather all of those people in a room to say thank you before I go.
My final parting wish will be that those left behind will live in Love, let go of their Fear, and become filled with a joy they never dreamed possible. And I want whatever is left of my body to return to the earth to make something new.
My soul will live on – I’m certain of that. I’ve already lived as Cinderella, so I can check that one off my list. Maybe I’ll come back as a sunflower and make a little girl very happy. Or a modern-day bad-ass gladiator… hmm…