Month: October 2013

All Hallows’ Eve

Today I learned how to tie a tie from the best tie-tier I know.  It’s always empowering to learn something new.  And when I came home to put my new skill to practice with my son’s Halloween costume, I found him fully dressed and ready to go, complete with his tie neatly tied.  Upon questioning, I learned he taught himself from a YouTube video … Read More All Hallows’ Eve

All that Matters is Now

I don’t know what I would do without Coach.  For a year and a half, he has been pushing me daily to build my strength and confidence, and I am evolving from a whiney spineless girl into a full-fledged badass.  When someone gives you positive affirmations regularly for that long, you start to believe it even if you aren’t quite sure of the supporting … Read More All that Matters is Now

Before Midnight

I watched a beautiful film called Before Midnight today (after my football team suffered another humiliating loss).  The passionate ups and downs of a couple vacationing in Greece fascinated me.  He was American – she, French.  It was artsy with no specific plot – just a whole lot of realistic dialog.  They were committed, not married, and had twin daughters together, but spoke of … Read More Before Midnight

Unspoken

I love words.  I love the sound of them, especially when I hear someone using an entertaining accent that happens to be different from my own.  I love selecting just the right one to convey a thought or a feeling when I write.  And when Spartacus speaks, I hang onto every single one that comes out of his mouth. Words became important to me … Read More Unspoken

I Want Crazy

“I don’t want good, and I don’t want good enough.  I want can’t-sleep-can’t-breathe-without-you love.” ~ Hunter Hayes, I Want Crazy It’s been a pretty amazing week – one of those crazy, turn-your-whole-life-upside-down kinds of weeks.  I ran my fastest medium-length race to date, escaped into Cinderella mode for a glorious fairy godmother moment, celebrated Holy Arm Day with Coach, signed up to ride 280 … Read More I Want Crazy

Make Yourself at Home

Historically, I haven’t been very good about sharing my space since my divorce.  Not just my living space, but my emotional space, too.  I needed distance between myself and everyone around me sometimes so I could think straight and feel safe.  I guess that’s why running 20 or 30 miles is so attractive to me. Having my own space gives me freedom to find … Read More Make Yourself at Home

Don’t Stop the Music

When Cinderella was dancing with the Prince at the ball, I’m sure she wasn’t thinking about moving into the castle and living happily ever after.  She was enjoying the moment, knowing eventually the clock would strike 12 and she would return to her rags and fireplace duties.  That was the deal she made with her Fairy Godmother, and she was willing to accept the … Read More Don’t Stop the Music

On Princes and Heroes

When I was little, I thought girls longed for a prince and boys admired heroes.  I never thought much about the comic-strip characters with supernatural powers in terms of romance.  It all seemed like guy stuff to me. I’m not a little girl anymore, but I still need the Prince.  The Prince is handsome and kind and can choose anyone he likes from his … Read More On Princes and Heroes

The Long and the Short of It

Yesterday’s experimental 5K in the name of Autism fund-raising left me slightly bruised physically, even if my spirit was renewed.  So today I decided to let the soft, gentle, rolling hills of Harker Road massage my aching calves and hamstrings on a “short” long run, while my head basked in the possibility that my racing days aren’t over just yet.   The road felt … Read More The Long and the Short of It

Bubbles

Just like that, I’m back to my happy bubble where joy is the norm.  It’s that easy. I’m beginning to realize that there is a difference between adrenaline and Love.  Adrenaline pumps hard  for a short period of time and leaves me bored, tired, and unfulfilled.  Not so in Love.  My heart may have power surges, but it’s a constant underlying rhythm that’s dependable … Read More Bubbles

Emotional Detox

Today was one of those “let it all loose” days.  The kind of day that sends everything washing over me like a cleansing shower that rinses away all the dirt and shit that’s been accumulating, leaving behind pink skin and the fresh scent of soap. And the tears flow. These days are exhausting in a productive way, for me at least, with all due … Read More Emotional Detox

Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear

I deserve to be this happy.  I may not have done anything to earn it, but I deserve to feel the overwhelming joy I’ve been given for as long as it will be given, without interruption from my own self-sabotage bullshit. I’m not going to suppose why I do what I do or make disconnected guesses about my behavior – I just want to … Read More Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear