I watched a beautiful film called Before Midnight today (after my football team suffered another humiliating loss). The passionate ups and downs of a couple vacationing in Greece fascinated me. He was American – she, French. It was artsy with no specific plot – just a whole lot of realistic dialog. They were committed, not married, and had twin daughters together, but spoke of growing old with one another. So European.
My former husband used to talk about growing old and sitting in rocking chairs together on our front porch sipping lemonade. Sadly, I never really shared that vision clearly, as much as I liked the thought of it. I don’t think much about growing old, although time is passing so quickly, I’ll be there in the blink of an eye.
When I hear people talk about their retirement dreams I feel like I’m missing something. I never think about that. What I think about is today, tomorrow, and sometimes the past. It just seems impossible to envision my life 20 or 30 years from now. When I think of where I was 20 or 30 years ago, I certainly could not have imagined the life I have today.
All I know about the distant future is that I want to be at least as happy as I am today. I could write and run and read and probably I’ll still think too much. Other than that, I really have a hard time picturing it. But oh, wouldn’t it be nice if happy ever after included the Prince who would make me smile and laugh and fill me up with a very big Love all the rest of my days… in fact, that’s the one part I can’t imagine living without.