Today was a big disappointment. My eyes are red and puffy, and I’m really not sure which part hurts the most.
When I get into this kind of mood, my whole life feels fucked up. I want to turn it inside out and upside down. I want to run away to some beautiful foreign land, get away from all the shit, and just start over. Hit rewind – erase the divorces, the marriages, the shitty days. Delete the house, the car, the job and the bills. Eliminate all the negative, nasty people in my life and the ones who steam roll through my boundaries. Forget the old family drama and all the men who said they loved me but didn’t really mean it.
And at the end of a day like this, it’s never the original disappointment that gets me to the point of drowning in my tears – it’s all the shit in my head that rattles around between then and now.
I don’t need for things to be fixed. I just want someone to hold me while I cry and tell me it will be okay while he strokes my hair. That’s all. I just want to be loved – you know, by a Prince.
One of the joys of my fairy tale life is that all I need to do is make a wish and the magic begins. The Prince shows up, makes my freckles shine with the light of a smile, and suddenly, I’m twirling around the ballroom floor once again.
And, as it turns out, I don’t even need to be held to feel loved.