Month: February 2014

Perfect Fit

Coach and I had a good chest workout today, followed by a few circuit sets that kicked my ass.  It amazes me how I can run so much and lift weights 5 days a week and still feel out of shape. I talked to Coach about that, and he understands what I mean… fitness is a phenomenon that doesn’t rely on a number on … Read More Perfect Fit

Shedding Time

In the interest of trying to become organized, I’ve created some chaos.  Okay… a lot of chaos.  My house looks like a tornado hit.  I suppose it matches the condition of my mind as of late, and I really hate looking at the mess.  I know it’s there – I don’t want to see it. It all started when I hung some blinds in … Read More Shedding Time

Fear is a Bitch

The bar has been set very, very high.  I’ll never be satisfied with a regular life again.  And that’s the beauty and the hell of it.  I have to figure out how to do this without Fear.  Fear is a mother fucker.   Love is everything.   Love is an open heart.  Love is thrilling and joyous.  Love is contentment with the world around … Read More Fear is a Bitch

Sunday Mourning

This morning I ran 15 miles through the frozen countryside.  The farmlands were brilliant at dawn with a fresh wisp of new snow atop the glacial remains of all the storms before.  All but the first and last 4 miles were treacherous ice and snow, and my mind was as exhausted as my body at the end from concentrating so hard on not falling. … Read More Sunday Mourning

Finally Full

I’m still a little tongue-tied tonight, but I miss the soothing soul-emptying exercise of writing from my heart before I go to sleep.  I just can’t find my words lately. In a group meeting I used to attend regularly, we began the hour by going around the room, introducing ourselves, and saying how we felt in a word or two.  How do I feel? I’m … Read More Finally Full


My eyes are heavy and my soul is satisfied after a steaming hot bubble bath with lavender. While my heart is jumping, I feel as though I have absolutely nothing to say, and I wonder if it’s because I don’t know how to say it or because I’ve said all there is to say. It was a winter storm day here on the East … Read More Nothing


He’s magic. He must be.  There’s no way in hell anyone could have made me feel better after the shitty day I just had.  But… he always makes me smile, even when I’m hunkered down for a long battle. I don’t know if I’m fighting ghosts or hormones or what, but I’ve just about had enough of it.  Time for Love to put on … Read More Abracadabra