Category: Journal

Not My Worst Part

We’re two episodes into Season 2 of Masters of Sex, one of my favorite shows.  While there aren’t too many quotable quotes from the story of Masters and Johnson and their clinical sex research at a time when no one talked about orgasms or vibrators, I heard a good one in this last show. Dr. Masters told a young girl with a debilitating, uncontrollable … Read More Not My Worst Part

States of Mind

I love the soothing rhythm of my front-porch rocking chair.  My winged friends are wound up this evening, but the mocking birds are strangely silent.  Usually it’s all I hear – the incessant twitter of a dozen different calls from the show-offs of the neighborhood.  I wonder where they are. The new boxwoods that line the front of the porch are showing light green … Read More States of Mind

Use Your Words

I’m so tired of feeling intimidated by a blank page.  Maybe if I take up smoking and move to New York City with three single girlfriends, I’ll be able to write smoothly about Love and relationships, just like Carrie Bradshaw.  She always has something profound to tap out on her Macbook while gazing down at the city from her trendy apartment window. Love is … Read More Use Your Words

Surrender

Sometimes, when you least expect it, magic comes and opens a door to a world you never knew existed.  Letting my guard down and allowing my feelings to rush in created the perfect environment for a pixie dust moment.  Well, several. I am exceedingly happy.  I wish I knew a word that meant “happy times a gajillion.” I don’t know that I could describe … Read More Surrender

Veni, Vidi, Vici

It finally came.  They’ve been promising it for days and days.   I carefully managed all the critical timing of two very important parts of my day around what they told me, only to discover that… they lied.  Again.  And again.  And again. So I moved the grass-cutting up and ran late.  I held off the hoses and watched my garden wilt. But finally, … Read More Veni, Vidi, Vici

Lightning Bugs

Heather Carter’s enchanting illustration  The fireflies danced like thousands of tiny glowing fairies in the dark field, and the lightning flashed in the sky like lights on a nightclub dance floor.  The rain had passed, and the earth was recovering from a quenching guzzle of water that refreshed her parched spaces and left pools of water everywhere for a reserve supply. My head was … Read More Lightning Bugs

Cheeky

Sometimes I’m exhausted from being so happy.  My cheek muscles ache from smiling and my energy is zapped from the constant surge of pleasure that courses through my veins like a life-giving drug.  Is it a horrible thing, to let joy overwhelm me? Every once in awhile, it just gets me. It’s like riding the edge of an orgasm and feeling every good and … Read More Cheeky

How Does Your Garden Grow?

I decided to take a little break from running while I heal my body and my mind and my spirit.  It seems counter-intuitive, I suppose, considering that running is usually my soul-saving addiction.  But I just felt like I needed to feel clear again – my lungs have been yucky for months and I felt a little bit worn out. So I’ve thrown myself … Read More How Does Your Garden Grow?

Lucky Duck

I am living a real-life fairy tale, disguised as an unwanted life.   I have a house in the suburbs with soon-to-be-planted boxwood bushes, three kids, and a yappy little dog.  I run marathons for fun.  But I have no husband, and I left my dysfunctional family in Indiana decades ago.  Which, I suppose, makes me not so unique, though I doubt a crowd … Read More Lucky Duck

I’m Home

Two weeks felt like a whole life. Giant metal birds stuffed with annoying sniveling strangers carried me to far away lands with new climates and cultures.  I stayed in beautiful hotels – one of which was reportedly haunted and another had a bathroom that I wanted to fold up and carry home in my suitcase.   Al fresco dining, charming accents, and kind faces eager to … Read More I’m Home

Just Breathe

I hate that last part – that “everything will work out for the best.”  It makes me think of someone patting me on the back in a patronizing way as we both watch my life fall apart.  The only way “for the best” works for me is if I’m happy.  Anything short of that goal might be for somebody’s “best” but certainly not for … Read More Just Breathe

Happy Friday

I’m in one of those moods again. One of those mooning, swooning, stars-in-my-eyes, can’t-believe-this-is-my-life moods. It’s just so constant and consistent.  When I’m around him, whatever is on my bother list for the day slips quietly into the background and lets pure happiness take center stage.  It’s some sort of crazy, magic energy that I could never begin to explain.  Every cell in my … Read More Happy Friday