Category: Indiana

Indiana 2014 – It’s a Wrap

I can’t imagine going back there unless one of them is gravely ill or dead. I’m so done.  It’s not their fault, I guess.  It’s not mine, either.  The Universe threw us together into this thing called a family, which somehow takes on this “till death do us part” kind of promise, which is completely unfair when we don’t get to do the choosing. … Read More Indiana 2014 – It’s a Wrap

Indiana 2014 – Day 3 (Fathers and Feathers and Fish)

He did it again. It seemed like the middle of the night when I thought I heard a knock at the door.  I wanted to ignore it, but my son was sleeping on the sofa bed and I went to check it out. There he was – my son – receiving instructions in low tones from my father, who had decided to take him … Read More Indiana 2014 – Day 3 (Fathers and Feathers and Fish)

Indiana 2014 – Day 2 (Boats and Bears)

The second day of the trip began the way most of my days begin – with the donning of the running gear and a glance at the schedule while the kids lay sleeping.  I had contacted the local high school before we left to see if I could make use of their running track for my interval training.  The answer was yes, and that’s … Read More Indiana 2014 – Day 2 (Boats and Bears)

Indiana 2014 – Day 1 (Showers and Shit)

I stood in the bathtub in my mother’s outdated bathroom under a trickle of water that was supposed to be a shower and wondered if I would ever get clean.  I looked up at the mint green walls with the mauve seashell wallpaper border along the ceiling line and thought, Mom doesn’t even like the beach.  A jar of shells sits on the vanity, … Read More Indiana 2014 – Day 1 (Showers and Shit)

States of Mind

I love the soothing rhythm of my front-porch rocking chair.  My winged friends are wound up this evening, but the mocking birds are strangely silent.  Usually it’s all I hear – the incessant twitter of a dozen different calls from the show-offs of the neighborhood.  I wonder where they are. The new boxwoods that line the front of the porch are showing light green … Read More States of Mind

Sunflowers

I lived most of the years leading into second grade in a townhouse on the west side of Indianapolis.  We had a small fenced-in patio with a tiny patch of earth where my father would plant all kinds of things. The patio was the home for many of Dad’s souvenirs from his hunting trips that my mother wouldn’t let inside the house.  Once we … Read More Sunflowers

Connect the Dots

I flew to Indiana last weekend with salon-fresh hair and nails, a new dress, and sexy shoes.  We didn’t have a large turnout for my high school reunion, but there was enough of a mix to stir me and guide me a few blocks down Memory Lane to a forgotten place I have managed to avoid for many years. My feelings were big and … Read More Connect the Dots

My Full, Filling Weekend

I lived a million lives this past weekend. I took a vacation day on Friday and nearly finished all of my Christmas shopping. I felt wonderful and free to be driving around and hanging at the mall on a Friday afternoon, as stressful as it was to choose and pay for all of those gifts. I saw the Dentist Friday night. Saturday I claimed … Read More My Full, Filling Weekend

The Fear of Sex

It’s harder to write when I’m happy. Isn’t pain the birth of creativity? Even so, I’d rather feel good than write well. So… Indiana… Let me start with my old boyfriend. Let’s call him Mr. Z. Mr. Z and I dated only briefly. I never could remember why or how we ended things, but I thought about him a lot over the years and … Read More The Fear of Sex

Divine Dawn

My alarm went off at 4:00 this morning; we were on the road by 5:00. Even with my dry eyes and lack of adequate rest, I was filled with pre-dawn energy. As the miles rolled under my tires, I was alive with the beautiful stillness of the day, and I managed to save a few thoughts on my voice recorder while the children slept: … Read More Divine Dawn

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig

Here I am, at my mother’s house, surrounded by walls full of my past – photos of my children, photos of myself and my sister… my deceased grandparents… there’s even one where my ex has been conspicuously cut from my left shoulder. Volumes of scrapbooks sit on shelves, recording precious moments from our lives – my accomplishments, which used to define me, fade a … Read More Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig

Going Home

My Indiana departure is eminent. Let the crazies begin. Seeing my family and connecting with my past sends a flood of emotional energy coursing through my veins. I’m excited, apprehensive, expectant, hopeful, defensive, nervous, with a little bit of residual anger mixed in. I’m also pretty stressed about the preparations, now that I’m working full-time and barely have time to breathe as it is. … Read More Going Home