Category: Uncategorized

Never Let them See your Pain

How do we heal our souls when they are ripped apart and set on fire?  We sit in the smoldering ashes and feel powerless and incompetent because no one else we know could ever hurt this much. People will gather for morning coffee or chat as they power up their computers on Monday, talking about exciting Saturdays and Sundays and we will pretend.  We … Read More Never Let them See your Pain

Giving Thanks

My mother is coming for Thanksgiving, and I feel myself slipping into Martha Stewart mode.  If I could, I would empty out the entire house, scrub it down, reorganize everything, and paint all the walls.  But I’ll be lucky if I can get the carpets cleaned and put dinner on the table. Apple pie and turkey scents will waft through the house.  Smiles and … Read More Giving Thanks

Coming Home

This sacred place has been calling to me for months.  Dozens of beautiful journals lie around with mostly blank pages – a testament to my unsuccessful attempts to write with paper and pen.  My heart is here.  My story is here. And so I return to Unwritten.

What Now?

I can’t identify the day when it happened.  Maybe it was a gradual thing.  Like a roller coaster fighting gravity to get to the top of the hill, the first part of my life seemed agonizingly slow.  Then, at the top, a slight pause, and… the brain-shaking, frightening, no-turning-back descent. Like most young people, I never thought I would age.  I wasn’t going to have wrinkles … Read More What Now?

Dumped

One of the things that makes me feel stuck in my garage-clearing efforts is figuring out what to do with all of the junk – and the good stuff – that I don’t want anymore.  Small trash is a no-brainer.  The clothes and small items in good condition are easy, too.  I make regular donations to a local charitable organization that drives to my house … Read More Dumped

Here and Now

All of my life, and all of your lives have come to this point. There is nowhere else to be, but here. Nowhere else to live or die, but here. To be here, now, is the only thing that matters. ~ Duke Rollo Lothbrok, Vikings When I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up.  Now that I’m grown up, I spend … Read More Here and Now

Running Recklessly

Four months.  One-third of a year.  That’s a long time to be quiet. I’m so disconnected with myself that I can’t even put a thought together.  That’s not good. I don’t have a race.  I don’t have a plan.  Every morning I wake up and make a critical decision about whether to get a run in or sleep more and run later – maybe. … Read More Running Recklessly

Lesson 1,684

You can’t create happy-ever-after from a lie.   If I am not living honestly – if I am fooling myself or others – I will be sick.  My body and mind and spirit will rise up and shake me awake.   When we don’t have the fairy-tale life of our dreams, sometimes we try to create one.  We deny and we lie (to ourselves … Read More Lesson 1,684

Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows  And what’s on the other side?  Rainbows are visions, but only illusions  And rainbows have nothing to hide  So we’ve been told, and some choose to believe it  I know they’re wrong, wait and see  Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection  The lovers, the dreamers, and me   Who said that every wish would be heard … Read More Rainbow Connection

Dying to Live

I wound slowly through the cold, quiet countryside this morning as most of the world was still waking up.  The sugar maples lit the path like street lamps with their neon-yellow canopies and carpeted the earth with layers and layers of gorgeous yellow leaves. Somewhere in the second mile the tears came, and my emotions spilled out all over the country road leaving a … Read More Dying to Live

Growing Hope

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we’re told Before we get too old Show me a garden that’s bursting into life. ~ Snow Patrol, “Chasing Cars” Until the past few years, I’ve not been much of an outdoors person.  I hated Girl Scout camping.  I endured kickball only to … Read More Growing Hope

Arms

“Arms” I never thoughtthat you would be the one to hold my heartBut you came aroundand you knocked me off the ground from the startYou put your arms around meAnd I believe that it’s easier for you to let me goYou put your arms around me and I’m homeHow many timeswill you let me change my mind and turn around?I can’t decideif I’ll let … Read More Arms